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(Cooking Can Be Different)
1 canned ham (left securely in

Insert ham in 375 degrees oven. Go to farm with family and
picnic and fun for approximately 4 hours. Return home and
1. Oven door blown completely out of stove; all the way
across kitchen and leaning upright against den wall.
2. Shredded bits of ham on walls and ceiling of den and
kitchen giving the impression of thousands and thousands of red
3. Grease thickly, but evenly, coating the entire
floor, den and kitchen. All cabinets and appliances greasy and
Dangers: Son running in to see the disaster; slid and
hit the floor and for 30 to 50 seconds was flat on his back and
in every aerobic position known at that date. No broken bones
but grease soaked clothes had to be burned.
Results: If you follow these directions you will:
1. Have a freshly cleaned and painted den and kitchen.
2. You will never, I mean NEVER be asked to bake a ham
unless there is some nut brain (as we had in our town) who will
(especially if there is a worthwhile gathering) announce: "I
know you hate to ask her", but Miss Jess Powell bakes a mean
and I mean downrite mean ham.

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